Super Computer Calculates Crystal Palace’s Exact Chances Of Relegation From The Premier League

9 Posted by - March 21, 2016 - News

For football fans up and down the country, the weeks that make up March, April and May can be a gigantically stressful spell of the year. Whether it’s the dreams of glory or the nerve-jangling threat of relegation, most have a reason or two for angst. 

These calculations from TalkSPORT’s “super computer” give us Crystal Palace’s exact chances of being relegated from the Premier League.

Supporters of Crystal Palace have spent the months since Christmas watching their side slip closer and closer to the dreaded drop zone with each round of fixtures, encouraging the distant murmurs of discontent to intensify into audible calls for panic since the month of March began. 

As has become the vogue in recent years, media organisations have ushered in the help of what they adorably describe as “super computers” to analyse each team’s chances of success or failure in the final weeks of a campaign. It is a tag which leaves me and I dare say countless others with images of mad scientists bedecked in lab coats hunched over a giant whirring mechanism in some dark and gloomy laboratory, and whilst the truth may be far less romantic, their analytical findings have become a source of major interest to many. 

The whole idea of a computer predicting the twists and turns of any sporting event, let alone one as fantastically random as football is utterly ridiculous in practice, but even so, its presence brings a sense of order to the madness that comes with fanatical football fandom. 

For all of our hopes, dreams and fears, there is something comforting about a probability of potential disaster being fed to us by an unemotional machine plonked in the corner of a magnolia painted office, even if its answer isn’t one that brings us pleasure. 

It is with this thought in mind that I will draw your attention to the Premier League predictions for final league placings that have been calculated by TalkSPORT’s very own “super computer” via the link at the top of this article. As Palace fans, you may not want to look at its calculations for our final league position, nor more pertinently perhaps, the percentage chance it places on us being relegated by the time all is said and done in May, but I dare you, for your own sense of risk, to take a look. 

It may be right; it could be painfully wrong, but there is undoubtedly a curiosity that exists within the human brain to peer quizzically at any analytical findings and prod for holes in the logic. I’d wager you are no different. 

Enjoy. 

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11 Comments

  • Simon Bannister March 21, 2016 - 11:23 pm Reply

    Just take a look at their “super computer” predictions at the beginning of the season. Load of rubbish.

    • Richard Glen March 22, 2016 - 3:19 am Reply

      We are seriously on our way down mate!!Take a look at Matt Jenners article in this weeks Croydon Advertiser(enough said!!).

    • Richard Glen March 24, 2016 - 3:24 am Reply

      Time for us fans to start putting pressure on Parish and Pardew!!Why should we just put up with this??

  • Richard Glen March 22, 2016 - 3:16 am Reply

    Hopkin its time to wake up and accept we are going to be relegated!!!Also you should take a look at Matt Jenners article in this weeks Croydon Advertiser!!!!!

  • Jose Fonte Baby! Jose Fonte, Oh, Oh, Oh March 22, 2016 - 9:29 am Reply

    Did this super computer predict Leicester’s great escape and subsequent title bid? Did it predict that Arsenal, Chelsea, Man City, Liverpool and Spurs wouldn’t make it to the FA Cup semi finals? Maybe it predicted Chelsea finishing outside the top four after winning the league? Or has it predicted City and Arsenal capitulating when they have no good reason to do so?

    Yes, we are in dire circumstances. Yes, the team does need an input of stardust, and yes, we could go down. But this year is so predictably unpredictable i wouldn’t be surprised if we finished anywhere between 9th and 20th.

    Anyone who thinks stats are a be all and end all of sport predictions needs to read this piece on how Tom Brady was deemed to be statistically unlikely to be a good quarterback. He has surpassed those deemed more likely to suceed ten fold. https://sports.vice.com/en_uk/article/cultural-relatives-roy-keane-tom-brady

  • Martyn March 22, 2016 - 1:29 pm Reply

    We’re staying up. Richard you’re a real positive one aren’t you

    • Richard Glen March 24, 2016 - 3:22 am Reply

      You need to wake up mate,we are in serious trouble!!Explain just how are we going to turn it around!!!??
      Palace fans just happy to put up with it!!!!

    • Richard Glen March 24, 2016 - 3:25 am Reply

      Time for us fans to start putting pressure on Pardew and Parish!!Why should we just put up with this??!!

      • Jose Fonte Baby! Jose Fonte, Oh, Oh, Oh March 24, 2016 - 9:54 am Reply

        Yes lets get rid of Pards and appoint McLaren or Time Sherwood!!!! Infact who is Arry working for at the minute. Also lets sell the whole club too. Replace the whole team, board, stadia, fans.

        Personally i would rather win the FA Cup and go down.

        • Richard Glen March 25, 2016 - 3:31 am Reply

          Can,t handle the truth Fonte baby!!Happy to see us carry on as we are???

          • Martyn March 29, 2016 - 7:43 am

            How are we going to turn it around? Win 2 games. You’re going on like we’re bottom and 7 points adrift

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